I am my mother's daughter

I asked my daughter, "Why are you so pretty?" She answered, "Because I am your daughter, that's why!" Not a bad answer for a 3-year old girl.

I think in every little girl, they can only see the good thing in her mother. The mother could not do any wrong. I remember the much younger me, looking at my mother, and thought how lucky I was to have such a beautiful lady as my mother.

You see, I wanted to look just like my mother. My mother's very pretty. As for me, I look exactly like my father. And how I hated it when people said that I looked just like my father. Although they were right. I was the exact replica of my father.

When I was a child was so angry when someone said that I was found in front of the hospital, that I was not my mother's daughter. My fear was, "what if they were right?" We were just too different.

And it's just so hard to accept, that the same DNA that my mother and I shared did not generate the same traits or temperaments or look. I am everything my mother's not. Even the way my mother put on her lipstick is so different than mine. My mother will have the flat lipstick shape, because of the way she applied the pressure in her lips. My lipstick would maintain the angular shape. Here's the best part: at one time, I even tried to copy my mother's way of applying lipstick. Somehow I gave up doing that. I just could not imitate her.

For me, my mother is my idol.

It took me years to realize one thing. Yes, I am so different than my mother and it may not be the bad thing. My mother's humble background has taught her the values that she instilled in me and my sister. Perseverance, hard-work, frugality, and compassion.

For me, I've enjoyed a much better life. Perhaps that's why I take things for granted. Not as ambitious, not as driven, much more laid back. I have my father's genetic traits in myself as well.

So what if my mother's just very hardworking and I boast myself to be the laziest girl in the whole world? Lazy people will work smart, not work hard! So, my mother's street smart and I am street dumb? Well, dumb people get all the luck, ha!

But it's just hard not to notice that over the years, I have changed. Now people have been commenting that I look like my mother. Initially, I would tell them that they are wrong. But now, I just keep quiet, because I realize something. There is some truth in it. Call it genetic mutation, or years of unconscious behavior emulation. Or maybe it's the shared motherhood experience. But I become more and more like mother. The way I talk, the way I smile, the way I handle things. And yes, I proudly announce, I am turning into my mother. 

Somehow, those values that she instilled in me and my sister are the same values that I am instilling in my children. I want my children to persevere, to work hard (and play hard), to save and live frugally, and to be kind and compassionate to all creatures. And I hope in the future, my children will pass these values to their children.

And for my daughter, I just hope that when people made the comment that she looks just like her mother, she will just smile and proudly announce,

"Because I am my mother's daughter!' Just like what I do now.

All women become like their mothers. That is their tragedy. No man does. That's his.

Oscar Wilde, The Importance of Being Earnest, 1895.

Note:

This is the post that I wrote to honor mother's day. The carnation picture is actually the gift from my daughter that she did at school.

On the other hand, why should we wait until mother's day to commemorate motherhood?

So, to all mothers in the world, from the bottom of my heart, I salute you.

And I thank you Lord, for today...

Today's my birthday! Due to some red-tape bureaucracy and (and stupidity of the person in charge), my mother ended up holding my birth certificate with a different date printed on it. So, to my family and close friends, today's my birthday. But, 3 months from now, I'll be celebrating my birthday again with some colleagues, and I'll be receiving a lot of birthday offers & goodies, since in my IC, it is stated that I am actually 3 months younger than I actually am. Which may not be a bad thing.


This year, my birthday is extra special. It's no longer just an appropriate time to bake a cake (although I did just that). But it's also a chance for me to thank God for my life. It's funny how I have always taken life for granted, without realizing how fragile life can be.
I have never been grateful to wake up in the morning, still breathing, still living. Alive and kicking! Until recently.

So, this morning, when I opened my eyes, I just felt the rush of gratefulness all over me. Thank you, Lord..for today, for my life, for the chance to experience life until now.
For the first time, my birthday is no longer the count of years that I have lived. My birthday is now the count of the years of I have been allowed to live on.


I've got some gentle nudge on the topic of life from above. First, is from a blogger, who inspired me to come up with my own blog. She died in 2006, just 2 days shy from her 33th birthday. Like me, she's also a mother of two, who loved to cook and bake. She's passionate about life, with so much dreams ahead of her.

Another revelation came when I found out that a friend of mine has HIV. She has two young children. I dared not ask her, but I am sure that for her, every day is just a blessing. Being a mother, I have heaps of hope for my children. I am sure she's the same. And how painful it is to know that she would not be able to see them grow up or to see them graduate or to see them getting married. And especially, not being able to hug them, cuddle them, kiss them!

Another nudge manifested from watching K-drama, The Snow Queen. It's another tear-jerking, cliche drama, with a message, "Live, it is better to be alive". Oh, speak about tear jerking, I did not even shed a tear when the main character in the story died because of..cancer (gasp!). I think I've been watching too much of these kind of drama, I have built up the immunity. Sorry, I just love to digress.


So, a strawberry shortcake for my birthday. My DH said it was such a lovely cake, taste-wise, of course! In fact, I baked 2 cakes for my birthday, following the recipe blindly. Turned out that the recipe yielded 2 x 8" cakes, not one. So, my lucky neighbor got the other cake.


A special thanks for Y, with his marvelous birthday present. Being an unreasonable person I am, it takes an extraordinary husband to keep up with me. Y, if you read this, thank you, thank you, thank you. It's not a gift itself, but it's more of an effort that you put in to get the gift that really touched me. Thanks for waking me up at midnight, although I could not even wake up to look at the gift. Sorry to disappoint your surprise point. I was so sleepy.


Live, it is better to be alive.


a belated happy birthday note...

Second Visit: Akashi & Kobe, mostly Akashi

I am a tropical person. I feel cold all the time, even in the hot tropical city that I have been living. The maintenance guy in the office just can't stand me, I keep on asking him to adjust the air-con in the office, so that I will not be shivering in the office.

Of course, like most people, I always complain about the heat here. I also complain about the humidity. I think my boss heard me and decided to send me to another place, where it was winter. It was cold. It was not humid at all. He sent me for a business trip to Akashi, Japan so I could not complain about how hot and humid it was in Singapore. 

It was in late Jan 2008, it was cold. It was winter. And when the wind blew, the wind chill factor made me understand why my grandparents decided to leave China in search of a better living in warmer countries. Actually, I am exaggerating, the coldest temperature was only -1 degree celcius. But I live in a place where it's 30 degree celcius, all year round. And I have not experienced cold weather since I left Sydney, and that's almost like 10 years ago. So, it was still temperature shock for me.

So again, no blossoming sakura waiting for me in Japan as it was much too early. But, I've got to take the picture of plum blossom (ume). It's either plum blossom or peach blossom, they are of a family (I guess)

Let's digress a bit. For a fan of Jin Yong's The Legend of Condor Heroes, seeing the real peach blossom in front of me has answered my curiosity on how peach blossom island should look like. For those who never read or watch The Legend of Condor Heroes, peach blossom island is where Huang Rong, the female protagonist in the story, lived. 

Another thing that worth noted here, on my second day in Akashi, there was snowfall. I haven't seen snowfall for a long time. I got very excited when I saw it. Despite the cold, I still managed to walk around the hotel, just to experience the snow again.

However, business trip is business trip. My schedule in this trip was very very packed. I've got dinner invitation almost every night. And until the last day, I could not even spare some time  to visit  Kyoto. And Kyoto is only one hour and thirty minutes by train from Kobe/Akashi. How depressing.

Food wise, I have got no complaint. I was well fed during this trip. I enjoyed tepanyaki style kobe beef dinner twice. I had chinese food -- japanese stye. I've got enough of sashimi, sushi, tempura during this trip. I had shabu-shabu. But, where's the best omu-rice from the Lunch Queen?

Without doubt, my wagyu beef was still the best. It is just melt in the mouth. It's so tender, and it did not smell. Made me wonder why the beef that I cooked sometimes smell like beef(?) and tasted like rubber?

That should explain why all the pictures that I took are mostly food pictures from the dinners that I have had.

Boss, when can I visit Kyoto?