I am my mother's daughter

I asked my daughter, "Why are you so pretty?" She answered, "Because I am your daughter, that's why!" Not a bad answer for a 3-year old girl.

I think in every little girl, they can only see the good thing in her mother. The mother could not do any wrong. I remember the much younger me, looking at my mother, and thought how lucky I was to have such a beautiful lady as my mother.

You see, I wanted to look just like my mother. My mother's very pretty. As for me, I look exactly like my father. And how I hated it when people said that I looked just like my father. Although they were right. I was the exact replica of my father.

When I was a child was so angry when someone said that I was found in front of the hospital, that I was not my mother's daughter. My fear was, "what if they were right?" We were just too different.

And it's just so hard to accept, that the same DNA that my mother and I shared did not generate the same traits or temperaments or look. I am everything my mother's not. Even the way my mother put on her lipstick is so different than mine. My mother will have the flat lipstick shape, because of the way she applied the pressure in her lips. My lipstick would maintain the angular shape. Here's the best part: at one time, I even tried to copy my mother's way of applying lipstick. Somehow I gave up doing that. I just could not imitate her.

For me, my mother is my idol.

It took me years to realize one thing. Yes, I am so different than my mother and it may not be the bad thing. My mother's humble background has taught her the values that she instilled in me and my sister. Perseverance, hard-work, frugality, and compassion.

For me, I've enjoyed a much better life. Perhaps that's why I take things for granted. Not as ambitious, not as driven, much more laid back. I have my father's genetic traits in myself as well.

So what if my mother's just very hardworking and I boast myself to be the laziest girl in the whole world? Lazy people will work smart, not work hard! So, my mother's street smart and I am street dumb? Well, dumb people get all the luck, ha!

But it's just hard not to notice that over the years, I have changed. Now people have been commenting that I look like my mother. Initially, I would tell them that they are wrong. But now, I just keep quiet, because I realize something. There is some truth in it. Call it genetic mutation, or years of unconscious behavior emulation. Or maybe it's the shared motherhood experience. But I become more and more like mother. The way I talk, the way I smile, the way I handle things. And yes, I proudly announce, I am turning into my mother. 

Somehow, those values that she instilled in me and my sister are the same values that I am instilling in my children. I want my children to persevere, to work hard (and play hard), to save and live frugally, and to be kind and compassionate to all creatures. And I hope in the future, my children will pass these values to their children.

And for my daughter, I just hope that when people made the comment that she looks just like her mother, she will just smile and proudly announce,

"Because I am my mother's daughter!' Just like what I do now.

All women become like their mothers. That is their tragedy. No man does. That's his.

Oscar Wilde, The Importance of Being Earnest, 1895.

Note:

This is the post that I wrote to honor mother's day. The carnation picture is actually the gift from my daughter that she did at school.

On the other hand, why should we wait until mother's day to commemorate motherhood?

So, to all mothers in the world, from the bottom of my heart, I salute you.