What? Is it coming to an end?

That's what I feel about year 2009. More accurately, that's how I feel at end December every year.
Usually the mellow feeling will come early, sometime around September, but of course, it's going to peak in December. Sometime like now.

For me, 2009 is a year full of blessings, despite the many upheavals that I experienced. Not to deny that at times I felt indignant at many things, I still feel that I am so very blessed throughout the year.

End of the year is the time to count the blessings. Or just to reflect all the things that make 2009 a year above the rest.

Let's do the round up

January: Celebration of the new year, where everything was still glittering like there's no end. There was the euphoria from the holiday season, coupled with Chinese new year. Got a new job and grateful, I could still have a job!
February: Let's welcome my boy, fresh from Jakarta, to start the new life in his real home. Now, take a deep breath, he's going to adjust fine!
March: Celebrate the paycut! Come on, for every dark cloud, we have to find the silver lining!
April: Oh, life as usual..just be happy!
May: Misdiagnosed? No kidding? Kill the doctor! Let's go to Phuket to celebrate..
June: Holiday season for the children! Gosh, that's half a year passed!
July: Let's race for the new school for big N!
Aug: Oh, life as usual..just be happy!
Sep: Another holiday in Jakarta! Oh, no more paycut effective Oct!
Oct: No more paycut, but we lost our Friday off! That's a fair trade.
Nov: What can I say? Life is a balance of two things, light and darkness. But, just remember the light side, always!
Dec: What, is it coming to an end? An the maid has run away?

Great! I can't wait for year 2010 to come! Hi and welcome!

Parenting 101: Overconfident Children? Where's The Balance?

This is how I grew up: A friend of my mother complimented my mother on how pretty I was since she had not seen me for years. And being the typical Asian mother, my mother would say, "You've got to be kidding. Look at her big nose, chubby cheeks, her big mouth!" etc..etc. In her own words, I was the personification of Princess Fiona (of Shrek fame). And don't get her started on how badly I performed at school, or on my incorrigible character!

And yes..that's how I grew up. Wonder why I did not sign up for Putri Indonesia beauty contest! Or that I did not develop inferiority complex that got me into under psychologist care.

Despite my mother's endless verbal abuse on my general being and appearance, I still grew up to be confident person, who think that I look okay. Well, may be not a Miss Universe material, but I still think I look pretty attractive...ehm...ehm. Oh well, at least I have my share of inner beauty, don't I? So, can you imagine, what would I be if my mother did not try to lower my qualities during my growing up years?

Now, watch those overconfident and weird contestants in American Idols, who could not cary out a tune, but embarrassed themselves and their parents by saying, "My parents said I am the next Celine Dion or Josh Groban!" Your parents are so dead wrong, dear!

Or my neighbor's kid who joined Singapore Idol, saying that she's the next Avril Lavigne, when she could not even sing the right do-re-mi.

(Let's be bitchy here..she's really my neighbor, from the other block. But, my, there was once I saw her mother scolded her! What made her think that she's the next Avril Lavigne???? From the way the mother scolded her, I did not think the mother is the type who would say, "Cutie pie, look at your God-given talent..go and join Sing Idol, I think you have Avril Lavigne qualities!")

That aside, I think we should find the balance when we praise our children. While it's the typical Asian thing not to praise the child, I am quite surprised that there is some truth in it. A research has shown that praising gifted children did not prevent them from underperforming. Praise may have inverse power. In plain english, it means that praise may backfire on the child. Instead of making the child confident, they may actually make them complacent, thus nurturing them into being over-confident (and turning them into weird people that you see in the those reality TV/Idol/Wannabe series).

Strange, does it mean that my mother has been right all this time?

No expert in the field of parenting, I believe in giving credit where it is due. Find the balance: Praise the child for the effort, not just for the sake of praising. Inferiority is bad, but over-confidence is equally bad.

But my children are definitely more good looking than Shrek and Princess Fiona and I am going to tell them just so!

We are really really busy!

I said this before and I say this again: I don't know how other parents do it. Especially those working mothers, who can still be so productive after work: baking, cooking, spending time with children!

Honestly, I just can't find time in the kitchen. Weekdays are definitely off, I am so drained after work. Whatever little time that I've got is spent tutoring the kids, spending time with them. I go to bed close to midnight, trying to get some relaxing time watching tv, or just talking to hubby!

Weekends are definitely burned; sending children for their extra classes, doing whatever work that we cannot get done during the weekdays. It's also the time when I get to catch up with my sleep. It may just as simple as getting up later than my usual 6 am schedule or napping for 20-30 minutes in the afternoon.

Even then there are so many things that I want to do with the children but I just can't find time. Simple things such as bringing the children to free concert in Esplanade so that they can learn to enjoy the music. Or, exploring the beauty of art by exposing them to art galleries.

But, given the choice between pursuing my hobby or spending time with my family, my answer is obvious. The children grow up too fast and even then, I am still guilty of not spending enough time with them. Oh well, at least, I have tried my best.

It will take me some time to find the energy to be a superwoman. At this point of time I am enjoying the time with the family. The cakes can wait, but the children can't.

Just one of those days that I grouse non stop!

Note: amazingly, despite the busy claim for me, no weight is lost in the process!